11.24.2010
The Past Lyric Video
I felt the same exact way. I almost cried cause I know this feeling...
Have you?
11.14.2010
11.12.2010
Happy Birthday Grace Kelly.
Born November 12, 1929 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
She was in over thirty films before her death on
September 14,1982.
She marrired a Prince in April 1956 to
Rainer III, Prince of Monaco
Grace Kelly as been my idol since I was a little girl.
<3
Glee: Never Been Kissed
I love Glee.
There are many characters in the show that I can relate to and make me wonder...
In this episode of Glee, we fall in love with the beginning of Kurk, as he sort of finds himself...
I actually went through this myself, it was a rough but needed beginning personally for me.
So any lesbian/gay people out there that can relate,...
share your view and smile.....
share your view and smile.....
=]
11.11.2010
Improve, Push, & Make it Happen.
Part I:
I have this odd problem in my life where it seems like nothing goes right for me, and its like for some reason, I am not suppose to be happy. My grandmother tries her best to cheer me up all the time. You see, I have tendency to get into a deep depression and sleep all day and all night. Rarely I would get up from my bed and do some stuff, aka eat and then go back to sleep. I despise the fact that I put myself into some deep shit. I prefer to be outside and enjoy life like I use to. I want to be out with friends and enjoying the breeze as I drive to work. I want to call a friend and just hang for hours on end. There are many things that I prefer to be doing, but since I have moved to this shit whole place called Yuma, Arizona. I don’t have many options.
In retrospect, I really didn’t want to make this move, I was finally getting things settled, happiness was on the horizon. There is honestly nothing here for me. I try to see the positive side of all of this, but as you can tell I am not really doing that well. I say that “I am fine” but I am not. I believe in the self profiling prophecy. If you don’t know what that is, it is pretty simple actually. You just give positive feedback to yourself. Such as saying “Today is going to be a good day” &; “I am going to be okay” and in return you smile and with this feeling, you do have a good day and are okay. I try to do this everyday. I do believe it is somewhat working.
I use to be in this deep thought about my personal life. I’ve never really been single for a long time before. I mean the longest time I’ve been single was only for maybe for two weeks. An I was rejecting people at that time too. Now, well it feels like my first time being EVER being single. I do have someone that I really care about, but I believe that I am not suppose to be with em’, only because its just not my turn. Not just yet. Honestly, the so-called “crush” , if we are going all Middle School on here, is one of my good friends. I do wish that I could have the chance to begin a next chapter there, but of course the universe has something better for me, I hope. Ha. I mean at one point I thought it was meant to be, only because we had a night together that kind of opened a door that is so hard to close. Even if we wanted to, which we sort of don’t. Nice, right? We torture ourselves, well at least I know I do.
You see, my good friend here moved from Indiana to Arizona about 3 months after I did. Sounds awesome, right? Not really, because you see my crush now lives three hours away. That wouldn’t be a problem, but now I am stuck at a pause in my life right now. I don’t have my car anymore [tears] and finding a job here sucks ass, so getting another one is so out of the question. So yeah being at a PAUSE sucks major balls right now. I try to think to myself that there is a reason for everything, which there is. I try to say to myself that maybe the reason my crush moved here wasn’t to be with me but someone else. Cause at one point the crush did get into a relationship, [that was scary], but I learn to deal with it. I can’t have everything I want. I also learned not to settle, because I won’t always be happy with it. I learn that the hard way.
Lately, I have the time to finally be okay with the whole single life. This pass Halloween weekend I hung out with the girls, and well it made me really think. In a long time I was happy and didn’t have anyone with me at all, just my friends and some drinks. I had the chance to actually open my eyes and see the possibility of happiness without feeling like "I have to have a girlfriend". I improve everyday. I can feel it, cause I smile more. I also try to improve my life by keeping busy as much as I can. Even if that mean I have to just get up and rearrange my room. I try to walk the dogs out more so I can get that breeze that I’ve been craving. I have to make sure I smile everyday and never look back. I also deleted the evil and toxic people out of my life, and some that are possibly toxic, I talk to them as less as possible. I have to put me first and try to improve my happiness level, day by day. Be happy for me not you. <3
I have this odd problem in my life where it seems like nothing goes right for me, and its like for some reason, I am not suppose to be happy. My grandmother tries her best to cheer me up all the time. You see, I have tendency to get into a deep depression and sleep all day and all night. Rarely I would get up from my bed and do some stuff, aka eat and then go back to sleep. I despise the fact that I put myself into some deep shit. I prefer to be outside and enjoy life like I use to. I want to be out with friends and enjoying the breeze as I drive to work. I want to call a friend and just hang for hours on end. There are many things that I prefer to be doing, but since I have moved to this shit whole place called Yuma, Arizona. I don’t have many options.
In retrospect, I really didn’t want to make this move, I was finally getting things settled, happiness was on the horizon. There is honestly nothing here for me. I try to see the positive side of all of this, but as you can tell I am not really doing that well. I say that “I am fine” but I am not. I believe in the self profiling prophecy. If you don’t know what that is, it is pretty simple actually. You just give positive feedback to yourself. Such as saying “Today is going to be a good day” &; “I am going to be okay” and in return you smile and with this feeling, you do have a good day and are okay. I try to do this everyday. I do believe it is somewhat working.
I use to be in this deep thought about my personal life. I’ve never really been single for a long time before. I mean the longest time I’ve been single was only for maybe for two weeks. An I was rejecting people at that time too. Now, well it feels like my first time being EVER being single. I do have someone that I really care about, but I believe that I am not suppose to be with em’, only because its just not my turn. Not just yet. Honestly, the so-called “crush” , if we are going all Middle School on here, is one of my good friends. I do wish that I could have the chance to begin a next chapter there, but of course the universe has something better for me, I hope. Ha. I mean at one point I thought it was meant to be, only because we had a night together that kind of opened a door that is so hard to close. Even if we wanted to, which we sort of don’t. Nice, right? We torture ourselves, well at least I know I do.
You see, my good friend here moved from Indiana to Arizona about 3 months after I did. Sounds awesome, right? Not really, because you see my crush now lives three hours away. That wouldn’t be a problem, but now I am stuck at a pause in my life right now. I don’t have my car anymore [tears] and finding a job here sucks ass, so getting another one is so out of the question. So yeah being at a PAUSE sucks major balls right now. I try to think to myself that there is a reason for everything, which there is. I try to say to myself that maybe the reason my crush moved here wasn’t to be with me but someone else. Cause at one point the crush did get into a relationship, [that was scary], but I learn to deal with it. I can’t have everything I want. I also learned not to settle, because I won’t always be happy with it. I learn that the hard way.
Lately, I have the time to finally be okay with the whole single life. This pass Halloween weekend I hung out with the girls, and well it made me really think. In a long time I was happy and didn’t have anyone with me at all, just my friends and some drinks. I had the chance to actually open my eyes and see the possibility of happiness without feeling like "I have to have a girlfriend". I improve everyday. I can feel it, cause I smile more. I also try to improve my life by keeping busy as much as I can. Even if that mean I have to just get up and rearrange my room. I try to walk the dogs out more so I can get that breeze that I’ve been craving. I have to make sure I smile everyday and never look back. I also deleted the evil and toxic people out of my life, and some that are possibly toxic, I talk to them as less as possible. I have to put me first and try to improve my happiness level, day by day. Be happy for me not you. <3
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him.
If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him,
like a shadow that never leaves him. "
-Buddha
11.10.2010
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