Dream of a Ghost.

Disclaimer:

The people in this blog has been change. I don't want any drama, so I changed their names.

Lately I have been having some really freaky dreams. They all have the same people in it. Most of the people in the dream I haven't seen since last year. Way back in June or July. It sucks, cause there is one person that techinally doesn't even existence yet, or not at all. She is suppose to be my daughter, Lily.(Which I don't have in real life) She is 5 years old. She is the cutest thing ever.The others are my ex and some of her co-workers. Its wierd to me because I haven't dreamt of her in a long time. An now out of the blue, here she is everyday in my mind. I seriously want to stop dreaming about this. Its really messing me up. I don't need this right now. I understand that I still have feeling for her, but hey I CAN'T do shit. I have excepted the fact that I can't. An now, I am just living day to day.
Thats okay with me.
I hope.

In the dream me and Lily are kidnapped. The time when this takes place in now. 2010. I have been beaten, stabbed, and even raped repeatedly and Lily has been forced to watch everything. We are chained and drugged up. I don't know who is doing this. But I know that it hurts. She crys and screams for her mommy, but I can't do anything. I hate it! It is hurting her. We finally get drugged up so bad that we both pass out. Then I wake up, but can't move nor can speak.I finally realized that I am inside a box. I can hear voices, I remember these voices. The box is then opened. I fall out. I hear everyone scream but I still can't move. I am fighting with myself and I know that it is useless but I know I have to try. I can hear my ex-girlfriends' boss recongize me and starts to call out her name,"Desi, Desi is that you?" He then starts to call her out here. "Hey M. come over here." I hear her running up the stairs. She starts to walk over towards the counter and sees me laying there motionless. I try to scream to get their attention. I wanted to know where is Lily. I couldn't see another box I panicked and screamed even louder then before, but my mouth was covering the sound. One of them called 911. Another use to work there but now is an EMT, Thomas, he went right to me and asked me some questions. I try to move to tell him the answer. So I just yelled as loud as I could. It took awhile but then he got a syringe and put it through my left arm. "This is going to hurt a bit, you are going to feel a rush for a second. Hold back on that rush, okay?" He pushed it through my skin into my veins and all I can feel was my heart pounding at a rapid rate and I could feel the blood going through my veins. I was finally able to move.
Thank god.
I knew I shouldn't of rushed, but I had to find Lily.


 I automatically went through the box. I found a whole and started to rip it open, I then saw hair. I kept on tearing it apart. There she was. Motionless as well, she looked pail almost like she already was dead. I screamed at him.
"FIX HER..FIX HER NOW!!!"
I try to get her out of the box. But I saw there was something attached to her back. It was ball wire covered in blood. Her eyes were open. I knew she could feel everything and anything. She was trying to yell. I knew if I pulled that wire something wasn't going to go my way. "Hey we have to find something to cut this wire, we have to be quick I don't think we have time." I commanded.  M and Catherine went to the back, I went to the hardware and so did Matt and Jim. They looked on the top and I looked on the bottom. I found a chainsaw. I didn't know if it would work, the guys didn't think it was best either. So we kept on looking. I found this Razor Tooth Saw Blade. I quickly started cutting away. Jim started to called M and Catherine back. It felt like it took forever to cut the wire. But I finally did. I pulled her and the small pieces of wire that was attached to her. I try to wipe the blood away from her. But it kept coming. I wanted it to stop. I panicked, I called Thomas, "Please help her she is only five she can't go through this" He started to put out his syringe and gave her a dose of the something. I held her close, I knew this was going to hurt. She started to scream and kick. "It hurts...It hurts mommy...make it stop" I was trying to. But everything I did made it worse. A few minutes later the ambulance came, I screamed to get her over there. 
But I couldn't move, my body wouldn't let me. I wanted to be with her. She needed her mommy, but I just couldn't move. Before I knew it the ambulance was gone and I still was just sitting there looking outside the window. Not doing a dam thing. Everyone was screaming at me
"Get up, she needs you "
 But I couldn't...
 all I could do was cry.

You will be missed.

Ladies and Gents.

It hit me today, well I was driving at around two-thirty in the afternoon. Michael Jackson is gone. I know I am pretty late doing this, but this man has done alot for me and he will never be able to really know it. I know that alot of close friends were simply devastated. The news just kill a little piece of our souls by the second.

I actually do remember when It all happened.

I was sitting on the bed with my now ex-girlfriend, then I got this wierd text from Stephen. Its said that Michael Jackson was just pronounced dead.

She cried right then and there. I was so shocked I automatically turned on the news to see if it was true. Cause some people like to pay cruel sick jokes, but this one wasn't a joke. Not even close. I was so scared. I didn't even know how to react. All I did was comfort her and just keep saying "This can't be happening".

 When his sister, Janet, made a dedication to him. I wanted to cry, but once again I couldn't.

Now, I am sitting hear on my laptop listening to Micheal Jackson classics.

Crying.

R.I.P

Michael Jackson

1958-2009

You will be missed.